The Babel fish is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the known Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it, It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. The practical upshot of all this being that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.
Now, it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some scholars have come to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. Their argument goes a little like like this : “I refuse to prove that I exist”, says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”
“But”, says Man, “the Babel fish is a dead give-away isn’t it? Nothing that useful could have evolved purely by chance. It proves you exist, therefore, by your own logic, you don’t. QED.”
“Oh dear”, says God, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
“Oh that was easy” says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets killed at the next zebra crossing.
Most leading theologians claim that this theory is a load of dingo’s kidneys, but that didn’t stop Oolan Kuliphid from making a small fortune by using it as the central theme of his best selling novel: Well That About Wraps It Up For God
Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
