Mr. Anderson, do you realize that the design of the first Matrix ensured no one suffered, and everyone was happy. Unfortunately, no one accepted the program, and entire crops were lost. It was a disaster. It could be, as some believed, that the programming language was not advanced enough to interpret your perfect world. However, […] Read more

Aku from Samurai Jack and Bowser from Super Mario Brothers talk about how much they dislike their rivals. “This one time, Mario tossed me into a lava pit, I kid you not. What’s your story Aku?” stated Bowser. Aku began, “Well, once upon a time I ruled the entire Earth with my iron fist. Then, […] Read more

Will Smith as Ali in the 2001 film, refuses defiantly to be drafted to the war in Vietnam. I’m staying here. Ain’t running to Canada or burning no flag, and I ain’t dodgin the draft. You go right ahead and send me to jail, won’t be no different. Been in jail 400 years and could […] Read more

I suppose this is when I give you my conclusion, what I learned, right? My conclusion is, hate is baggage. It’s not worth it to be pissed off constantly, life’s too short. Derek says there is always someone else who said it best already, and if you can’t beat it, then steal it. So, here’s […] Read more

At Ameriprise Homeowners Insurance, we celebrate the milestones in life with you. Like teaching your teenager to drive. Nice and slow, nice and (the car suddenly accelerates) SLOW!!!! Watch out for the mailbox! Oh! Hey! The bushes, the BUSHES! Oooooohhhh! No, no, no, no, NO! MY GARDEN! Ahhhhh […] Read more

If life was perfect then dogs would walk themselves. Algebra would be handy for something, and magazines wouldn’t knock you 0ver with a perfume smell. At least we’ve got Amstel Light. It’s only 95 calories but still has a real imported taste. Look on the bright side […] Read more

I’ve worked in the city my whole life. Since I hate crowds this may be an issue. Seriously, I-I don’t like close spaces. I feel trapped all the time. I keep thinking there’s something better out there, but maybe that’s not so. I think I think too much. It probably goes back to being an […] Read more

I don’t know what to say, really. Three minutes ’til the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today. We’re in hot water right now, gentlemen, believe me. We can stay here, get the snot kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. Now either we […] Read more

Produced by Francis Ford Coppola in 1979, Apocalypse Now is a psychological film depicting the hypocrisy of war. The main character takes a mission in Vietnam to assassinate a rogue comrade. Robert Duvall is an Air Cavalry officer obsessed with surfing who travels with Captain Willard on his increasingly perilous and hallucinatory journey upriver. One […] Read more