I can’t believe I ate the whole thing Ralph: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. Wife: You ate it Ralph. Ralph: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. Wife: No Ralph, I ate it. Ralph: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. Wife: Take two Alka-Seltzer. Announcer: Alka-Seltzer neutralizes all the […] Read more

Johnny: Dad? Dad: Yeah? Johnny: There’s ah somethin’ I want to tell you. Dad: What is it son? Johnny: Well dad, you’re my dad, and I love ya man! Dad: You’re not getting my Bud light Johnny. Announcer: For the great taste that will never fill you up and won’t let you down….. make it […] Read more

Man: Will you embrace the timelessness of now, before it disappears into the world? Woman: I will Man: Before this moment melts into tomorrow. Woman: I will Man: Will you hold me? Woman: Yes Man: Will you? Woman: Yes Man: Stay here inside our love lined with arms that won’t let go, Woman: You know […] Read more

Wife: I’ll take the microwave. Husband: I’ll take the television. Wife: I’ll take the table. Husband: I’ll take the bed. Wife: I’ll take the kids! Husband: The kids? What do you mean you’ll take the kids? Wife: And the dog. Husband: I’ll take the dog. Wife: And I’ll take the house. Husband: The silver. Wife: […] Read more

Pesci: You asked a question sir Let me answer it. The genius of the Constitution Is that it can always be changed. The genius of the Constitution Is that it makes no permanent rule Other than its faith In the wisdom of ordinary people to govern themselves. Vidal: Faith in the wisdom of the people […] Read more

Oddball: You see now we like to feel that we can get outa trouble, Quicker than we got into it. Oddball: We got a loud speaker here and when we go into battle We play music VERY LOUD. It kind of Calms us down. Moriarity: Suppose the Bridge ain’t there. Oddball: Huh, oh man, don’t […] Read more

Man 1: Hello, Kinko’s, the Copy Center. More stores than you think. How may we help? Man 2: Do you copy shirts? Man 1: What do you mean “Do you copy shirts?” Man 2: See, I started this new job … Man 1: Yeah …? Man 2: And they want me to wear white shirts […] Read more

Girl: Transform your lips with mirror shine. Announcer: New Glam Shine from L’Oreal Paris. It’s unique. The new heart-shaped wand bursts with moisturizing gloss. It smoothes and sweeps on liquid crystal shine. Glamorous, moisturized, mirror-shine. Indulge in the new Crystals Collection. New glam shine from L’Oreal with a unique heart-shaped wand. Girl: Ready to make […] Read more

Eyes: Yo! It’s your eyes talking. Looked in the mirror lately? Of course you have. Hey, face, you trying to imitate a prune? Too many trips to Cancun, huh? Well, maybe it’s time to improve your image. Anncr: At Laser Image Sculpting, we not only offer the latest cosmetic laser technology, we offer extremely bright, […] Read more