Harry: Oh, Janet, what do you say we go skiing this weekend? Janet: Harry, I’m afraid to go skiing. Harry: Janet, then how about something really different, like hot air ballooning? Janet: Harry, I’m afraid of heights. Harry: Well then, Janet, let’s check out that new Indian restaurant down the street? Janet: Harry, I’m afraid […] Read more

Anncr: Once upon a time, there were three sisters who couldn’t agree on anything. 1 Sis: Let’s go out for pizza. 2 Sis: I’d rather have sushi. 3 Sis: And what’s wrong with a salad? Anncr: Whatever the topic was, they each had their own favorite. 1 Sis: Let’s see a drama. 2 Sis: I’d […] Read more

1st person: Hey Russell, how’s the fishin’? 2nd Person: Well, yesterday I caught a ten foot shark. Yep, and inside I found a pair of pants. 1st person: My goodness. 2nd person: Yep, and inside them pants was a wallet. 1st. Person: Wait a minute. 2nd person: Inside that wallet was a winning cash five […] Read more

(sexy lounge music, a little bit of dance mixed with jazz) Announcer: Clump mascara? Sexy whisper girl: So what. Announcer: Now there’s New Define-A-Lash from Maybelline New York. Our first clump-free that’s longer, sexier, defined like never before. Sexy whisper girl: Tell me more. Announcer: Only our flexible brush is shaped to the lash. Only […] Read more

Intro music – MC- Well hello everybody, and welcome to mental-peace theater. Monkey- Hey, how ya’ doing… good to see everybody. Audience – Ahhhh ( surprise) MC- Today we have a very special guest in the theater, the captain of the flying monkey… Hello sir and how are you today? Monkey- I dont know why […] Read more

Man: Honey? What’s all our stuff doing in the driveway? Women: It’s a Newsday spring cleanup sale. For only $19.95 we can put a two-line classified ad in Newsday for seven days. And with over two million readers…we’ll get results fast. Man: Two lines, all additions, for only $19.95? That’s more than 50% savings off […] Read more

Announcer: Wave hello to the new Neutrogena Wave. (buzzing sound of the device is heard) The vibrating cleanser that’s going to shake up the way you wash your face. Girl: I’ve used a lot of cleansers but I never tried anything like the wave! Announcer: Just attach a pad, add some water, and turn it […] Read more

Guy: (answering phone) Office Solutions! Girl: (sighs in frustration and a bit sniffly) Are you an Acme sealer? Guy: Yes Ma’am, we sell and service Acme’s full line of office equipment. Girl: H-how can I be sure of that? Guy: Sure of what? Girl: you say you’re an Acme dealer, but the last Acme dealer […] Read more

Anakin: Chancellor, we have just received a report from Master Kenobi. He has engaged General Grievous. Palpatine: We can only hope that Master Kenobi is up to the challenge. Anakin: I should be there with him. Palpatine: It’s upseting to me that the council doesn’t seem to fully apprciate your talents. Don’t you wonder why […] Read more