Pillsbury Doughboy Dead at 81

On Monday The Pillsbury Doughboy died of complications from repeated pokes to the belly and a severe yeast infection. He was just 81 years old.
Doughboy was laid to rest in a coffin lightly greased with butter.
Many well-known celebrities attended the event, including Betty Crocker, Mrs. Butterworth, The Hostess Twinkies, Hungry Jack, and Cap’n Crunch. The Loafs’ Prayer was performed by The California Raisins Choir.
Flours of all types were heaped on the gravesite as Aunt Jemima, colleague and life-long friend delivered a touching eulogy. She told of joint recipes they worked on and described Doughboy as “someone who never realized how much he was kneaded.”
Early in his career, Doughboy experienced numerous turnovers but in later life, he rose quickly in show business. He wasted a lot of dough on half-baked ideas, and was not considered a very smart cookie,
Despite being crusty as an old man and a little flaky at times, millions considered him a roll model.
Although he was no tart it was thought he’d rise once again, toward the end of his life.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough, two children, and one in the oven. After 60 years of marriage, Mrs. Dough said their relationship was, “A piece of cake.”
The funeral was held at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes. May he rest in yeast, I mean peace.